Im 33 years old and am facing the biggest challenge of my life. For the first time I face something that I have no control over: my fertility. I had always thought that you had the power to create the life you wanted by doing the right things. Study hard, work hard and maintain heathy and loving relationships. I was ready for the difficult parts and the disappointments, but never did I ever consider the possibility that I would not be able to conceive a baby.
There are so many fluctuating emotions that one goes through during fertility treatments: hope, excitement, fear, disappointment, despair, anxiety, happiness and confusion. Since it’s so hard to either hold all of this in, making pretend everything is fine, or feel like a “Debbie Downer” when venting to others–I decided to start writing about it.