I found myself breaking down in tears this morning at 3am as I rocked Lily back to sleep as we listed to a pretty version of “You are My Sunshine” on one of her many CD’s. These lyrics have always made me emotional, for those I love who are here, were here…. and are not here yet. 

The other night dear as I laid sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms
When I awoke dear I was mistaken and I hung my head and cry
You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies’re grey
You’ll never know dear how much I love you please don’t take my sunshine away


One response to “Sunshine

  1. I want you to know that I have been a follower of your blog from way back in the day (2010) when you were going through your 1st IVF with Lily. I too was going through my 1st IVF cycle and your blog gave me hope. It made me laugh and cry because you spoke for every feeling I was having and could no longer share with anyone because after awhile people don’t want to hear you cry anymore. I was blessed too with a successful 1st try and our son was born in 11/10. I felt so happy for you when Lily was born and even more connected because Lily was to be our girl name. I checked in with you today because I am waiting for the call from our dr.’s office for the blood test results of our 2nd IVF. We tried in Jan but had our cycle cancelled due to an over suppression from Lupron. This time, new protocol in hand, we tried again. We transferred 2 embryos, 6 cell A and 8 cell B. I felt so positive but took a HPT a few days ago and it was negative. With my son, it was positive on 9 days past transfer. I am preparing for the worst. Your thoughts on trying for our second babies, even though we are so grateful for our first is SPOT ON!!!!! I could not have said it any better. I am desperately wanting to complete our family. I just want two babies and I resent that it has to be this hard. I am willing to continue the fight and feel the same way, that I KNOW it can happen but I am so scared I can’t breathe sometimes at the thought that it may not. My son saved me too so my sadness is all relative to the sadness I had pre baby but it is still there. I had to write this time to finally let you know that I am here, I understand, and I BELIEVE we will get our 2nd beautiful health babies! This keeps me going on hard days, “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is to always try just one more time.” -Edison

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