This morning I woke up pregnant. Now, I fear it is all crashing down. About an hour after I posted my 6 week update, I felt a little gush, and hoped that it was just discharge or urine. Nope, it was blood. I ran to the bathroom and felt another gush. Bright red blood. I immediately started crying and called my R.E. nurse. She told me she would see if she could get me in today for an ultrasound but if not I should go to the emergency room. She said she ‘d call me right back. Tears. Called my husband to come home. More sobs. The nurse finally called back after a half hour and told me they could get me in at 8:00am tomorrow (bullshit) and that I should stay calm and try not to worry too much. She said a lot of women experience bleeding in pregnancy and that everything could still be OK. She told me to stay off my feet for the rest of the day and to call back if I experienced a fever, bad cramping or clotting. My husband and I cried together.
So now I have to spend the rest of the day laying on the couch wondering if this pregnancy is over or not. I’m not feeling too positive and I’m scared shitless about what comes next. Ever since I got back my IVF results I have stared down a path of more heartache, despair and failure. I was ready to close the door on that but it looks like it is still wide open. I just don’t know how I would survive this.
Well, tomorrow I’ll know. At least I don’t have to wait 5 more days for my ultrasound.