First, I would just like to thank everyone who left me such comforting and heartfelt comments about my awful ET experience. I truly appreciate and cherish your thoughts and prayers. Thank you.
Unfortunately, the news only gets worse. I got the letter in the mail yesterday saying that they were unable to save any other embryos to freeze. I am beyond devastated and was inconsolable last night after reading that. Not only am I shocked at the results–only ONE out of 20 eggs was (barely)viable!?!? But I am also stunned, disappointed and angry at my R.E. Clinic for how they deal with things.
First of all, I didn’t know anything about how many eggs were mature, how many fertilized, etc until I was sitting there in the procedure room surrounded by the “ET Team”, naked from the waist down and all doped up on Valium. They could have easily come out to see me beforehand to explain how they were progressing and what the fuck it all meant. Instead, I felt rushed, overwhelmed, confused and totally pressured into transferring only ONE, when I’m sure they were not exactly placing bets on the other two making it to freeze. I knew IVF would be difficult and emotional, but never would I have imagined that I would be robbed the chance of giving at least one of my last 2 embies the chance to grow into a baby. I just don’t understand it. It seems that my clinic is especially conservative about the number of embryos transferred and even boasts on their website that they have “one of the highest rates of single-embryo transfers”. Well good for fucking you. My last two embryos are gone and for all we know, they may have been my only chance at a baby.
I also have a problem with the fact that I was told nothing by the nurse yesterday morning when I made the WTF call. She knew I had zero embryos left but could only tell me that she’d leave a message for the R.E. who’d call me back on Monday.
I am seriously considering changing doctors.
So now, I just wait and hold out hope for the little embryo inside me. That would be my miracle. My greatest life’s blessing. If this works, I wouldn’t need much more in life. This is all I want. Please God, make this work.