Let’s do this

At 10:00 pm  last night, after a wonderful, romantic dinner at an Italian restaurant (and shared bottle of Chianti), my husband gave me my trigger shot. Hopefully it will be my LAST injection–period. I was thanking God that the scary 22 gauge needle that I had dreaded for weeks was actually NOT the needle used for the injection! It turned out that we only had to use that needle for the drawing of liquid when mixing Novarel, and then we switched it with a MUCH smaller needle for the injection. I hardly even felt it!

So far the past few weeks have been drama free, but yesterday I got a taste of the “mind-fuck” effect that this process can have on you. I was pretty tired, anxious and distracted after my early morning monitoring appt. so I figured I would just relax on the couch and wait for the call. At around 1:45p.m., I started getting impatient and left a message on my nurse’s VM,  just in case they maybe forgot about me or lost my file or something. My RE Office is obviously closed on Saturday afternoons and the voicemail is only checked until 2:00pm. Like clockwork, I normally get the calls between 11:00am and 1:00pm so by 3:00pm I was losing my shit!! I started crying, convinced that they weren’t going to call and that this whole cycle was going down the tubes. In my just slightly hormonal state, I thought that maybe the Saturday nurse had car trouble and/or spilled coffee on my file or maybe had the stomach flu and just didn’t show up. I was freaking out at the thought of my follicles being neglected, having to go through all of this again and wondering if they would still charge me since it was they’re fault it got fucked up.

Then, as my husband shone a big “I told you so” grin, the phone rang. I had to literally compose myself before answering. The nurse told me that I was “cooked”,  with 26 measurable follicles and an E2 count of 3150!  Sounds good to me. I just hope this warrants lots and lots of eggs and healthy embryos.

Tomorrow is the big day. It is so surreal, but not in a bad way. My husband and I have been giddy talking about baby stuff, and we haven’t done that since we started TTC almost a year and half ago. As soon as we suspected a problem, all giddiness went out the window. It’s nice to have that feeling back and to be given back the chance to be purely & positively excited.   I am so glad we made this decision and haven’t once looked back. I don’t know what this week will bring, but so far the process has been much better than expected. I’m so lucky to have such an amazing support system because without it I don’t know if I would have had the courage to have taken this step.

I know that this wont be easy…… but I’m ready.

Fuck you, “infertility”. I’m ready to prove you wrong.


9 responses to “Let’s do this

  1. that’s amazing! i’m glad your stress yesterday was for naught. i can’t wait to hear how many eggs they get tomorrow! i’ll be thinking about you and sending you lots and lots of happy good luck thoughts. what time do you go in? are you taking tomorrow and tuesday off?

    i know what you mean about finally letting yourself have the happy baby thoughts again. stupid fertility issues rob you of that, but i, too, find myself creeping back into letting myself think about the future. it’s feels so damn good, doesn’t it?! FUCK YOU infertility, is right!

    no looking back! babies for us in 2010!

    xoxoxoxo! looking forward to hearing your update tomorrow.

  2. p.s. i’m glad the trigger shot wasn’t that bad. you’ve helped to calm my nerves about it.

    p.p.s. how did your cycle get so ahead of mine? you started lupron 3 days before me and here i am not even on stims yet. i thought we’d be closer together. did you begin your IVF cycle on CD1 or CD21? i started on CD21 so maybe that’s the difference? you’ll totally be preggo by the time i get to ET. 🙂

    • So I go in at 9am tomorrow with hubby and we should be there for 2-2 1/2 hours. I took tomorrow off DEFINITELY and told my boss I wasnt sure about Tuesday. I work at a university and this week if the start of the semester (figures) so I know it will be a tough call Tuesday morning! I do know that I did not go to work the day after my polyp surgery because I was still totally out of it from the anesthesia and pretty crampy.
      It does seem like my cycle has gone pretty fast. Hmmm..I also started on CD21 and was on Lupron for 10 days starting on 12/22. I started stimming immediately after and then was only on them for 8 days. It is more common I think to wait a few days to start stims and to also stay on them for 10-12 days. It is all such a mindf*ck. I could never do this for a living!

  3. I know- the needle to mix the trigger is HUGE! I’m glad it’s not the one for injecting 🙂 I’m praying for you guys that it’d be God’s will for you to welcome your first little one in 9 months!!

  4. Yay! I’ll be sending good thoughts your way.

    Don’t forget to eat as soon after the procedure as you can. I can tell you from personal experience that it’s a really bad thing to take pain pills on a mostly empty stomach.

  5. Best of luck with retrieval tomorrow. I had a very easy time of it, no pain. I was just zonked.

    All the best,


  6. Good luck tomorrow! Take care of yourself and I look forward to hearing how it went.

  7. Good luck with everything. I’m mostly a lurker, but your blog has helped me so much. Never has anything summed up how I feel right now more than this,

    “I feel like I am so entrenched in this process, that I cant imagine what the next step will be like. I know I can do this. The needles, the 7:00 am ultrasounds&blood draws and waiting for my instruction calls from the RE nurse. ”

    Thank you for your words.

  8. I’ve been away on vacation and I’m so sorry that I missed out on your last few days of updates! But I wanted to wish you lots and lots and lots of love and love for your ER today! I read back on the posts that I missed, and it sounds like this cycle rounded out really nicely and that you have some really good follies! I’m SO happy for you!


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