Well as suspected the results were negative. For some reason I am much better this time than last time.
My friend had her baby today and called me right after the delivery. It’s funny how I find out that I am going IVF on the day she has her baby. I guess that is just how life works sometimes. I do know that my life is just as blessed as hers so I am not going down the road of resentment or jealousy.
I told myself this morning that I wasnt going to cry and that I was just going to keep thinking everything will be ok. This is not the path that I would have ever imagined myself to be on but here I am at the crossroads, and I am choosing it for myself. I am choosing to be proactive and to do whatever it takes to be pregnant. While Im sure there will be plenty of anxiety and tears here and there, Im really going to try to not feel sorry for myself. This is not a death sentence, it is a bump in the road. I am (kind of) young and healthy and have a loving, supportive partner and friends who will walk with me every step of the way. I am not going to think of “have nots”, but only “haves”.
The medication has just been ordered. Holy fucking shit I am doing IVF.