Who reads your blog??

I started this blog as a way to vent. Since then I have only revealed it to two friends and my husband. There are times when I am so tempted to tell other friends about it but I always catch myself. It is such a private thing and can really only be shown to a trusted few. I am normally a very open person and would usually tell people anything about my life, but the detailed struggle of IF  is too personal to shout from the mountain tops. I refrain from telling acquaintances and colleagues about my issues not because of embarrassment, but mostly because I dont want to be judged or pitied.

Revealing my IF is one thing, but my  blog is another.  It is like your diary being open to the whole world, which can be so liberating but scary at the same time. I sent mine to one of my best and oldest friends right away since she had a mommy blog of her own and also needed something to read while she was on bed rest. Since then she has read every word and has supported me so immensely. I knew that she would be completely non-judgemental  and would truly be interested in every detail of my treatments. She is my biggest cheerleader and rides each wave of my emotions right along with me. Im so blessed to have her support. (thanks meg! xox)

Since we unfortunatly live in different states and dont get to  talk very often, letting these 2 friends read my blog has allowed them to stay updated on my daily ups and downs. My other old & cherished friend who has read my blog lives on the other side of the country and has always been my true soul lifter, but actually is not online enough to follow along as much. Im tempted to tell a third friend who shares my joy and sorrow each day, but Im scared that this would make it too public. Once 3 people in my life have access, there is a risk of more people reading it and that would not be good.

My mom and sister dont know about it. Right now, I cannot reveal to them the true pain I am going through. It would hurt them too much and they wouldn’t know how to help me.

My husband knows I have a blog and that I “blog” each day but hasnt read it. I think he wants me to preserve my  private, personal outlet because he sees how much it has helped me cope.

Im curious…who have you let read YOUR blog????

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15 responses to “Who reads your blog??

  1. The only people who know about my blog are my two sisters and my IRL friend who now lives several states away but who is also struggling with IF 🙂

  2. (Well my husband knows about it, too, but I don’t think he reads…)

  3. Well, noone IRL has the URL to my blog. My husband knows that I blog and that I find great comfort and support in doing so, however, he would never breech my confidence and read what I’ve written.
    I’ve thought about sharing with a few close IRL friends but I’ve never gained the courage to do so. I have 4 friends that I met on a TTC board last yr. that all read my blog, we’ve never met IRL but they read it … does that count?

    Maybe one day I’ll get the courage to let the cat out of the proverbial bag to my friends. But for now, I’ll limit my bloggy support to those in ART land 🙂

  4. Like you, my husband knows about it, but doesn’t read it; and I have given the URL to only two IRL friends (my BFF from HS, and an ex who turned into a really good friend once we got the funky breakup stuff out of the way).

    I’m a pretty private person, so family/other friends know about the IF stuff on a need to know basis only. I’d much rather have the knowing support of other ART people than the well meant but painful support of those I know IRL.

  5. Hi, Happy ICLW. I have only told my husband and don’t think I will tell my friends. I’ve told a couple of friends about our IF struggles, but I prefer to be able to contain what they know through conversations rather than let them see it all on my blog….

  6. I too struggle with who to really let in. While there are several ppl who know of our struggle, I have not shared my blog with them. For, as you said, I don’t want to burden them with how tough some days can be. (ICLW)

  7. you have no idea how much this post meant to me. wait, that came out wrong… this post is all about YOU but i feel honored and priveliged (sp?) to be part of your inner circle… your blog has shown me a side of you i never knew (and i thought i knew all sides of you!)… who knew you were such a wise, spiritual woman?!
    i might be far away but i’m thinking of you every single day and this blog makes me feel like i’m right there chatting with you in person over a glass of wine (like the good old days!). love you! xo

  8. I am the same as you, I want to tell everyone but then I don’t want to tell anyone. Other than our parents, only a very few close friends and our close cousins who are KU know. And out of those people, I have only shared the blog with two.

    Sometimes I like to have a place where I can go and share everything about IF without having to worry about those close to me knowing my every thought and emotion. On the other hand, I like that they can follow along and maybe know when I’m having a bad day.

    It’s sooo personal, ya know? And really only those that experience it can understand.

  9. We are very open about our IF, but I agree that sharing the blog just feels *too* personal. I did recently give it to one friend who is more of a blogging friend than an IRL friend, but we did know each other as children.

  10. It’s funny you bring this up, and not funny in a “ha ha” kind of way. Our blog started out talking about our failed IVF cycles, and was meant to be a journal through our adoption. However, we may be turning back toward one more IVF treatment and then calling it quits, and I think I may have to have a different blog that is private for when and if we get to that point. IF is so different than the whole adoption thing. And if we make it private, we will give it to my close friends who know that we’re doing IVF again, and I may not even give it to my mom. Sometimes on our adoption blog, I just have to vent, and have so much to say that I have diarrhea of the mouth. My mom feels the need to email me in the mornings to either criticize something I’ve written (which usually leads me to delete it), or to tell me that if I send the post to her she will proofread it for me before I post it because while she knows I’m smart and might think she knows where I’m coming from, other people don’t know me. Geez. She means well, I know she does, but sometimes I just need to write what I need to write and not worry about what someone else has to say about it. I know you know what I mean.

  11. Oh yeah, Happy ICLW!

  12. This is a very interesting post! When I first started my blog, it was simply a non-if blog. I never even mentioned it. I just blogged about my family life. I got to feeling that I wanted to share more on my blog. I “came out,” but very few people in real life read it. My husband reads and comments on it regularly, as does my mom, a coworker and a very good friend of mine. Other than that, it’s all internet-friends. I haven’t told my real-life readers not to tell anyone, but I know them all well enough to know that they’re not going to go blabbing all around.

    Happy ICLW!

  13. Hey there, just stopping by for ICLW! My blog has evolved…from my one or two best friends, to more friends (and even some acquaintances). I’m pretty open about my IF struggles – because I feel like it’s only taboo because people don’t talk about it(!) – so I use my blog as a way to educate as well as to record and VENT. With that said though, my DH rarely reads it, and my mom and other family members have not been invited. 😉 Best of luck on your journey!

    Jeannine

  14. My DH reads my blog. Sometimes it’s easier to write what I am feeling, rather than tell him. And, well, if I’m venting about him, he is already well aware of it! LOL! I have only shared my blog with one other IRL person. She’s my oldest and dearest friend who, even though hasn’t gone through it, really does “get it.” My mom and sister know about our struggles and one other IRL friend knows some of the details, but I can’t bring myself to share this journey or my blog with anyone else. Too personal and I dread hearing shit like “just relax” or “just adopt.”

    Good luck in January!

    ICLW

  15. I have only shared my blog with college friends who undersand my IF struggle. My husband knows I blog but has never wanted to read it. I did share my BFN post with him so he knew what I was feeling.

    I’m glad I have not shared my blog with my parents or close relatives. I like to think of my blog as a safe place for me to write whatever is going on, without self-edited.

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