I started this blog as a way to vent. Since then I have only revealed it to two friends and my husband. There are times when I am so tempted to tell other friends about it but I always catch myself. It is such a private thing and can really only be shown to a trusted few. I am normally a very open person and would usually tell people anything about my life, but the detailed struggle of IF is too personal to shout from the mountain tops. I refrain from telling acquaintances and colleagues about my issues not because of embarrassment, but mostly because I dont want to be judged or pitied.
Revealing my IF is one thing, but my blog is another. It is like your diary being open to the whole world, which can be so liberating but scary at the same time. I sent mine to one of my best and oldest friends right away since she had a mommy blog of her own and also needed something to read while she was on bed rest. Since then she has read every word and has supported me so immensely. I knew that she would be completely non-judgemental and would truly be interested in every detail of my treatments. She is my biggest cheerleader and rides each wave of my emotions right along with me. Im so blessed to have her support. (thanks meg! xox)
Since we unfortunatly live in different states and dont get to talk very often, letting these 2 friends read my blog has allowed them to stay updated on my daily ups and downs. My other old & cherished friend who has read my blog lives on the other side of the country and has always been my true soul lifter, but actually is not online enough to follow along as much. Im tempted to tell a third friend who shares my joy and sorrow each day, but Im scared that this would make it too public. Once 3 people in my life have access, there is a risk of more people reading it and that would not be good.
My mom and sister dont know about it. Right now, I cannot reveal to them the true pain I am going through. It would hurt them too much and they wouldn’t know how to help me.
My husband knows I have a blog and that I “blog” each day but hasnt read it. I think he wants me to preserve my private, personal outlet because he sees how much it has helped me cope.
Im curious…who have you let read YOUR blog????