On My Way to IUI #4: Why Do I Feel So Normal?

So Im at CD7 and went for my first monitoring ultrasound and blood draw this morning. I love it when these appts land on Saturdays. I feel so purposeful and productive going in first thing in the morning with my coffee, wearing jeans and sneakers. It’s less depressing for some reason than going before work at 7:15 and seeing all of the other women with their work clothes on. It’s just a reminder of how inconvenient this all is and how hard it is going on with our daily lives with this dark cloud over us.  Anyway, I must be a weirdo because I dont mind as much going on weekend mornings.

Since it is still so early the ultrasound was pretty boring. We saw two follicles at around 10mm and about 20 other little ones floating around. Pretty anti-climactic. This cycle feels different from the last for some reason. Maybe Im just so used to the routine that it’s not as exciting or emotional. Even though Ive been on the Gonal-F injections all week I dont even feel it’s evil effects consuming my body and mind. In fact,  I have a ton of energy and am in what my good friend and I call “Solving World Peace” mode. Im doing laundry, cleaning the house. staining a table and raking leaves. I also plan to go out to buy some new curtains. Maybe Im just nesting. I also havent been bothered by my insensitive pregnant friend’s phone calls lately either. She felt it was necessary to call me this week to tell me that HER friend just had her baby.  Great, just what I was dying to hear on a Wednesday night as Im preparing my shot.  Im glad that these things arent really affecting me much right now. I must be subconsciously numbing myself.

But I know the flood of emotions are coming though. Over the next couple weeks Im sure the hormones will kick in full force and I’ll be back down in the dumps, feeling sorry for myself and not wanting to bother with anyone or anything. My house will be a mess again and I’ll be screening my calls. The reality of being here at IUI #4 and of the possibility of it not working will sink in and I’ll be feeling like shit. At least I’m expecting it this time.

Well one good thing I can look forward to is that my IUI appt will probably fall on the weekend. I can lay around all day and not worry about going back to work and pretending Im having a normal day. (These days, it doesnt take much….)


2 responses to “On My Way to IUI #4: Why Do I Feel So Normal?

  1. sounds like you have the perfect mindset! enjoy this cycle. wishing you all the luck in the world for IUI#$!

  2. Dont’cha just love those blissful moments of happiness during TTC. They’re sometimes short-lived but it feels like you’ve been able to wake-up from the horrible all-consuming funk.
    I hope this awesome mood lasts for a little while and that you are rewarded with a BFP at the end of your wait.

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