Cycle Confusion

So I was on the phone about three times this morning with my nurse trying to figure out the next steps. Since I hadnt heard anything since my polyp-check-procedure I wanted to call to make sure we were all set to start the IVF week. I had remembered something about an “IVF Consult” where you and papa sperm sit with the doctor to go over all the risks and sign a bunch of forms, but didnt think would be that hard to set up. It turns out my doctor does not have a free appt until November 23rd! When I heard this my heart sank. I have had it in the back of my mind that I would be pregnant by Christmas. It was wishful thinking I guess, but it’s been a feeling Ive had all year. The thought of entering the new year still without a baby in my belly will be devasting. If I dont see the doctor until November 23rd, I wouldnt have the IVF procedure until January since you have to be on the pill for 20 days or so before starting hormone injections. Fucking Awesome. Spending Christmas, not pregnant, all jacked up hormones was not exactly what I had in mind. I guess this is just another one of the million disapointments you encounter with this process. You tell yourself to think positive, hope for the best and follow your “good feeling” instincts. I even believe my friends’ instincts. It makes me feel good for a while, but then it all comes crashing down and you realize what a dummy you have been even thinking that things would work out how you wanted them to.

The good thing is, I can do an IUI while Im waiting for my consult. I might as well, right?? I dont want to waste another fucking month. So I guess there is a chance I could have good news by the end of the year. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise and one day we’ll look back and laugh about how we had a scheduled plan for IVF but didnt end up doing it because I got pregnant waiting to see my doctor. That would be nice.

So as frustrated as I am that I cant go full force and have my baby whipped up in time for the holidays, there is a part of me that is a little relieved. I dont have a choice but to put the IVF thing off a little longer, and in the meantime I can maybe have a successful IUI. Only time will tell……


4 responses to “Cycle Confusion

  1. Thanks for sharing the wait times to start on IVF. If this IUI doesn’t work, I think I’m ready to move on to IVF. I know once I make that decision, I’ll want to do it right away so I have to get used to the idea of waiting a month or two. I like your plan of doing the IUI in the interim. The IUI can’t hurt and maybe you’ll get your BFP and avoid IVF altogether.

  2. Aw man, why couldn’t they have told you to schedule that stupid IVF consult back when they told you about the class? I swear, all RE offices need to be more clear about the waiting process, etc.

    I’m sorry you have to settle and do an IUI … but I hope it’s a successful IUI 🙂

  3. I wish I could assure you that you get used to the delays, frustrations and disappointments, but you don’t. And it all stinks.

    Also had to laugh at “have my baby whipped up”; I got this image of a apple-cheeked little old lady sitting at a sewing machine happily sewing away at the seams of a “baby.” If only it was so easy.

    Will keep fingers crossed that the IUI works.

    • Thanks Blanche! Im glad you found humor in that comment because I did too as I was writing it. I like your version of the old lady sewing away! I pictured a lab tech in an apron and chef’s hat putting ingredients into a mixing bowl and then mixing it with a hand blender…..
      We just have to laugh at this sometimes!

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