Baby Shower

Tomorrow I leave to go away for the weekend to attend one of my best friends’ baby shower. This is the same friend I mention in a recent post, who hasn’t been the greatest support in my IF struggle. She got pregnant while planning her wedding this year and was really upset about it. She cried for the inconvenient timing and I cried too, but for myself. She rescheduled the wedding in June and was able to plan it just before she started to show. I haven’t seen her since the wedding, partly because I’ve been avoiding her. She is deeply entrenched in her pregnant world and cannot seem to realize or understand my current state of devastation and heartache. In fact, I know she’s disappointed that I dont call her enough–but doesnt get that I am in a state of depression and may not want to hear her gush and gush and gush about how amazing her pregnancy is, all the different food she is craving, how great it is feeling her baby move and how sad she will be when she delivers because she wont get to feel the baby inside her anymore. I know I sound uncaring to HER joyous experience, but oh well. I 100-41253-217x300guess we’re just not going to see eye to eye right now. I do love my friend and I know she loves me dearly. She just doesnt get it. And I accept that not everyone will get it, or will always know what to say. Maybe someday when Im pregnant I will feel guilty for not making a bigger deal out of her pregnancy. Maybe not. I AM going to her baby shower and bought her a beautiful gift. I will sit through the shower and ooh and aah. I’ll do this because I do care for her and for her happiness. I’ll help her open the little clothes, socks, bottles, blankets, bjorns, lotions and bouncy seats. I’ll help her carry the gifts to her house and will compliment her nursery colors. I’ll suck it up. Because this is my life and I have to keep living it.  As much as it sucks.

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7 responses to “Baby Shower

  1. damn. you are a good friend. Much respect to you. She is lucky to have you as a friend. I skipped many baby showers, even some of my close friends. it’s so frustrating when someone doesn’t understand IF. I had a friend who kept talking about baby making and I asked her not to and she said, oh ok – but then kept talking about it! And then you get the friends who complain to you about having kids and tell you how lucky you are that you don’t have any. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.

    • Thank you…. I actually had skipped 2 other baby showers over the past couple months so Im definitely not that good. I was so lucky to be off the hormones this month because otherwise I don’t think it would have gone very well!

  2. I agree, you are an awesome friend. You are a big person to step up and be there emotionally for someone who refuses to see your POV.

    Huge ((hugs)) are coming you way!!

  3. I have to agree with PP. I had a “friend” of mine who just didn’t get my point of view either (funny, since she struggled with IF for 3 years before a successful IVF), and she was so mad that I wasn’t bubbling over with glee with her during her pregnancy that she doesn’t talk to me anymore. I was as happy for her as I could be (always a good thing when an IF’er gets off this train), but I was sad for myself at the same time. Hope you have a bearable time at the shower- and hope it’ll be time for one for you, soon 🙂

    • Thank you! I think you are better off without that friend. It’s amazing how we learn so much about people during these trying times. I like your blog, your faith is very inspiring.

  4. What worked for me at the most recent shower I had to attend was Mimosas… lots and lots of Mimosas, lol. And you have no reason to feel guilty, now or in the future…

  5. Wow, that great that you can just suck it up. It’s not (I imagine if you’re anything like me) that you aren’t happy for her, it’s just that your sadness is more overwhelming than your happiness.

    Just make sure that while you are sucking it up you are also doing a little self-preservation and looking after yourself.

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