Today was my hysteroscopy to see if any polyps had come back. For what seemed like a serious procedure took literally about 10 minutes from knickers off to knickers back on. (Speaking of pants off, can we please have a more dignified place to put our pants and underwear, like maybe a drawer or little closet? Just leaving them in a heap on a chair or the floor is so cheap and embarrassing–like a hook up in a dorm room. ) So anyway, the camera was inserted into my cervix and I uncomfortably got to see the inside of my uterus. Icck–it’s not pretty but it wasn’t so terrible either. It was smooth, cozy and simple–and if I were an embryo I wouldnt mind camping out there. No polyps. I guess that’s good news, although I was secretly hoping that they would discover something–that way they could fix it. Like maybe they would see some underwear fuzz in there or a hairball that they could just easily remove and everything would be fine. No more “unexplained” mystery. That way I would know that my eggs weren’t all rotten or poisonous.
I must say that I have been enjoying this month off. Im pretending like I am a normal person not under an infertility cloud. It’s like being on vacation from an extremely intense and stressful job. My blackberry and lap top are off, my toes are in the sand and Im dozing off listening to the waves crash. No worries! Only after today’s procedure I can feel the vacation ending. It’s time to pack up, change out of my bathing suit and back into my winter clothes. Time to face the music and start planning for the next cycle. While we will try naturally this month, I will just assume that it wont work. This means IVF is in our near future and it is both exciting and terrifying.