I received one of the most thoughtful gifts ever this week. It was my supervisee’s last day, and as she was leaving she handed me a card and little box. Inside was ONE little crocheted baby booty. I was confused at first, thinking it was a holder of some kind, with maybe a doggie treat inside since we typically would get each other funny gifts for each other’s dogs. This must show how clueless I am and how removed I have become from the reality of having a real baby–because the booty was actually intended for my future baby. She said she made me two, but that she would hold on to the other one until I had some good news for her. It was also assurance for her that I would keep in touch, because she really wanted to know when it finally happened. She was actually the only one at work that knew, and had been really supportive through the ups and downs. In her card she wrote that was both blessed and humbled to have had me for a boss, thanked me for all of my support and that she couldn’t wait to hear that I was finally pregnant.
I was taken aback by this gift. First, because as a boss I sometimes wondered if she secretly hated me, and this obviously proved otherwise. It also showed such genuine thoughtfulness, support and caring. It was a beautiful gift of hope.
It’s funny how some people can surprise you when you are going through difficult times. Im so lucky to have friends who are beyond amazing in they way they have supported me through this. But there is one who should have been better. I can understand that she has been preoccupied with her first pregnancy, and would never want to make things “all about me”, but I have been astounded at her lack of sensitivity. It’s to the point that I have been avoiding her phone calls, and we used to talk 2-3 times a week. Im also realizing that I cannot completely trust her with such private and personal information, after finding out she blabbed to multiple people that I was going through fertility treatments. It’s really disappointing, but I guess Im not really all that shocked. She has always been this way, only I had never dealt with anything so private and painful for her to exploit the way she has done with others.
Im going to her baby shower this weekend and am bracing myself. I will be the enthusiastic and dutiful friend, and will pretend that everything is great. I am truly happy for her and will enjoy being there to share in the joy and excitement. But deep down I’ll know that, along with other things in my life lately, things will be a little different. And that isnt necessarily a bad thing….