Stopping to Smell the Mums

I  just bought two huge pots of red mums this morning for my front porch. I was tempted to buy the biggest pots they had, but realized that they wouldnt have fit on my front steps. Just below that pic is my 13-year-old dog, Timber. He’s a big, beautiful hair ballbronze mums agnews of unconditional love. There are no real stories or reasons behind posting the pictures, other than that I just wanted to share a little piece of my life–today. (Sorry, no pictures of my messy house or of my terrible outfit & hairdo). Just a snapshot of  what and who I am  looking at and thinking about this minute.  I  just found myself watching Timber as he slept and snored and realized how fleeting time is and how I should stop rushing it away. A few months from now things could be totally different. I could be pregnant, we could be in a new home and Timber could be gone. Really, anything could happen that could turn my whole world upside down to a point where this snapshot of me here on this Sunday morning, enjoying my mums and coffee with my dog,  would seem light years away.

I guess i just have to remind myself to experience life a little bit more during IF treatmentsIMG_1340. While it’s so easy to be consumed by the “cycle” calendar, and to wish that I had a time machine to skip the 2ww, or the month off of treatments–I also have to remember that I’ll never get this time back. I dont want to end up looking back on my early thirties years from now and only see a blur, a blacked out period of struggle and despair that really “didnt count”.

Because so much of this struggle is about “moving forward” and  “looking ahead”, it’s too easy to forget the present. I know that looking ahead is necessary to cope, but I guess I just have to make sure that I take the blinders off and look around every once in a while.  IF sucks royally, but life is good and life is short. I don’t want to waste any of it.


6 responses to “Stopping to Smell the Mums

  1. “IF sucks royally, but life is good and life is short. I don’t want to waste any of it.”

    Thanks for the reminder to get my head out of the IF clouds and look around at the other good stuff going on.

    In reference to an earlier post – very few of the people I know IRL know about my IF-centric blog, Facebook is where I go to get away from IF and try to be who I used to be before IF became such a huge part of my life.


  2. Here from LFCA – Welcome to the blogroll!

    I’m so sorry about the BFN on your IUI :(. Wishing you lots of luck with whatever treatment comes next!

  3. Hello! Wow, I can really relate to this post – too much. Thanks for the reminder to live in the present! Sometimes I need a lot of reminding! We just put down our 13 yr old black lab, and moved into a new house, and I can’t believe how different life is from just a few months ago…and how different it may be in just a few weeks. (We are currently doing IVF #1, starting Lupron this Saturday.) Good luck to you in whatever you choose to do next – haven’t read all your posts yet, but will.

    PS. Your pup is adorable! So are the mums…I love the fall!

    • Thank you! Im so sorry about your doggy. I know how painful it is. Hopefully this cycle will be successful and you will have a new member of the family to love. I’ll be doing IVF#1 next month. Good luck to you too!

  4. Hi. I am a new visitor. I am sorry about your negative. You speak very wisely about trying to live in the present. I went through ART for 4 years. I wish I had learned that lesson a little earlier on. If you get a chance stop by my non profit blog and website, Parenthood for Our mission is to provide financial and emotional support to those building families through adoption or medical intervention. We need help spreading the word.

  5. Your post was awesome. I can’t wait to go home an love on my fur baby. He has been my baby for 13 years and I thank god every day I get to spend with him. I pray Timber lives many more years. God reminds us everyday to stop and take in all that he created by blessing us with a beautiful leaf, a call from a friend, a perfect piece of chocolate. Keep loving life, mums and Timber.

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