Next Step-IVF?

This waiting is torture. My blood pregnancy test is in two days, my home tests say negative and I havent gotten my period. I spoke to the nurse this morning about plans for the next step if this cycle does not work. Of course Im already assuming it wont work so I asked her whether or not IVF would be an option at this point. She said that first I would need to take a month off for more tests to see if any polyps had returned, but  after that IVF would definitely be an option.  My insurance would cover it, so does that mean I should just go for it? Sure you never dreamed of your baby being conceived in a lab, but then again I also never imagined that I’d get pregnant from a turkey baster either. I’ve had this idea in my head that IVF was SO extreme and scary, but really, the most important thing is that  I get to conceive & carry my and my husbands baby. That is the goal. So since IVF had much higher success rates, I should just skip more potential failed IUI’s, right? Am I missing something? This would be the most important and personal decision I would ever make. Nobody could tell me what the right decision is. Not my mom, my friends, therapist or  doctor. I  already know my husband is on board, so I say, let’s do it. The only scary thing is that it is the last step. If this doesnt work, God help me. OK  Im getting into too may hypotheticals so I guess I will wait for this month’s results and go from there.

AF, are you there? It’s me Julie. If you are on your way, please hurry the F up.! I need to know whether or not to expect you so I can plan for your visit and departure. I dont want to see you AF, in fact you’ve been visiting way too much and overstaying your welcome. To be honest, you are no longer welcome but I guess I have no choice but to deal with you. You’re visit is rude enough as it is, and delaying your arrival  is just plain inconsiderate. You’ll see AF, someday soon there will a sign at my door saying, “Dont come back for 9 months!”. It will be a much needed break. But for now, will you just get here if you’re on your way? ! I dont have time for your bullshit anymore.

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